No one ever told me about this space. The in between. The end of one season, emerging with a sense of accomplishment, pride…and a bit tired.
Children grown, leaving, returning, leaving again, returning… do I keep their room, or is this my room now?
A corner of piled-up stuff belonging to my children, now adults, sifting through the end of one season for themselves and stepping into new territory, which often feels too soft to land with both feet. That pile represents years of childhood, moving to adolescence into adulthood. And they faced their own decisions of whether to let the stuff go, or keep it in a corner of their new place of residence.
No one told me that once the children launched out and began to face their own adult decisions, the next thing I would learn is how to be quiet. Waiting, learning to wait, learning to let them come to me, rather than jump in, but also jumping in because, well…you know what they say about old habits.
No one told me that if I left any gaps as their parent, they might show up in my young adult’s life, and it’s a mom guilt that hits different.
No one told me the weight of seeing those children pursue their dreams, knowing there would be failure from time to time. There would be disappointment from time to time, and I would have to watch from a distance, and just be ready to be a soft place to land when they need it.
No one told me when my kids launched that my own parents would begin to need more from me. That my prayers would shift and include my parents’ names and their doctors’ names and the treatments that came and went and came again.
No one told me that I would hold my parents in one hand and my grown children in the other, and that my marriage would need to step out in front of it all. This person I committed to so many years ago, this was our time. Some say these are our golden years. More flexibility. Less responsibility. Those dreams I pushed aside while raising children…now was the time to chase them.
No one told me how much would change.
That my heart would continue to grow as my children accomplished goals and dreams of their own.
No one told me my 50 something year old body would start to send out signals that need my attention more now, than in the past.
But these things I would be balancing, would all be beautiful and hard and joy filled at the same time.
These are the things in life that perhaps no one can tell me about.
Perhaps, no one can tell you about.
Because we all have a path to walk of our own. And the only thing we can all do to ready for this new season, is get to know the One who poured the foundation and assembled the stones that will carry our feet through this life.
If we know the builder and the reputation of His work, not knowing what is around the corner won’t seem so scary.
And those twists and turns can feel more like a grand adventure than a runaway train.
Life changes, but the faithfulness of God remains through it all.
And that is something I can tell you.
He is faithful.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Simple Faith 